Sorry this has come a little late, Photobucket was being a real stick in the mud. I have to say, I didn't enjoy this episode as much as the last two, but I think it's because of my limited (or non-existent to be totally honest) knowledge of Night Court. Nonetheless, still a fabulous episode in which top moments were abound.
OH! And if you haven't caught up on the last two episodes (OMG YOU BETCH), here's a long, soundless recap:
3x01: Do-Over
3x02: Believe in the Stars
TOP MOMENTS.
(basically the whole show)
Kenneth: Ms. Lemon, it’s me, Kenneth Parcell, the page. You probably didn’t recognize me in this new page uniform.
Liz: I recognized you, Kenneth.
Kenneth: The old uniforms were timeless, practical, sexy. But, um, this...This is an outrage! You need to make them go back to the old uniforms.
Liz: I don’t have that kind of authority.
Kenneth: Then what do you do?!
Liz: Hey, I just got a call from security.
Jenna: That’s ridiculous! Why would I steal a file from personnel?
Liz: What? No. Claire is in the lobby.
Jenna: Claire Harper? From Chicago?
Liz: Yup. Fun, crazy Claire.
Jenna: Oh man! Do you remember the night we all danced in that open fire hydrant?
Liz: Yeah. Her roof parties?
Jenna: Karaoke in Boystown.
Liz: The all night scavenger hunts.
Jenna: Do you remember when we crashed that Polish wedding?
Liz: ...Yeah she’s exhausting.
Jenna: Oh I know! She’s gonna make us buy more of her homemade jewelry. Birds always attack me when I wear it.
[Kenneth starts to jump excitedly with the girls before breaking into tears]
OMG he's so adorable.
Jack: Welcome to New York. Lets see, we’re using credit cards, and cabs, all the galleries have moved to Chelsea, and we’re off cupcakes and back to doughnuts.
Tracy: What’s wrong, Ken? You’ve got wife eyes.
Kenneth: I’m just sad sir. I’ve worn this old jacked since 19...and now they’ve just thrown it away.
Tracy: Is there nothing sacred? Have we lost our moral center? It just makes me want to pee on someone.
Kenneth: I appreciate that sir. But rules are rules. I’m just going to have to live with it.
Tracy: I hate to see you like this Ken-Dog. It’s like an owl without a graduation cap; heartbreaking! So what can I buy you to make you happy?
------
Kenneth: Money can’t buy a sunset or a child’s smile, or a satisfying finale to the hit TV show ‘Night Court.’
Tracy: Court? At Night? I’m already laughing! Tell me more!
Claire: Oh hey Liz. Jack was just giving me direction to the...F-Train.
-------
Liz: Back in Chicago I saw her take powerful men down. It didn’t matter if it was Scotty Pippin, or the drummer for the Bodeens, or someone else’s boyfriend who ran a small but prestigious clowning academy.
Jack: Whose boyfriend? [Liz makes a face]
-------
Jack: Having known Claire for a very enjoyable twenty minutes and you for what feels like infinity, I’m going to go with Claire on this one.
Tracy: Ready for your big surprise?
Kenneth: Yes sir! Gosh, last time I was blind folded I had to play piano at that weird masquerade party.
Tracy: Ta-da!
Kenneth: [Squeels] Some of the cast of ‘Night Court’!
-------
Markie: Oh bless your heart. Do you like race cars?
Kenneth: I do!
-------
Kenneth: First I find a quarter this morning...
Charlies: Uh...I lost a quarter earlier...
Jack: To Mi-ou. May tonight’s fundraiser for your fund raising foundation be as successful as last weeks cocktail reception for your rehab center.
Claire: Jack’s just being modest. He won’t tell you, but I will. Today is Jack’s birthday! Hit it boys! [Breaks into song] Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Jackie-bear. Happy birthday to him.
-------
Jack: How did you get in here first of all? And it’s not even my birthday!
Claire: I know isn’t it funny?! What? Oh come on are you mad?
Jack: This is highly inappropriate. I’m going to have to ask you to leave!
Claire: Hey! If I kill myself, it is all your fault! [Crowd gasps] [Jack starts to fake laugh and summons orchestra to start playing]
Liz: Did she do sexy birthday or mannequin who comes to life?
Jack: Sexy birthday. Thank god!
-------
Jack: I’ve got to get out of this. What do other guys do?
Liz: Well, one guy died. Scotty Pippin requested a trade to Houston.
Jack: Houston’s too humid. What about this dying thing?
-------
Liz: Where is she now?
Jack: Chained to the radiator in our hotel room. It was her idea. She’s an amazing woman.
Tracy: My boy, Ken has written a masterpiece. And trust me, I use that word a lot!
-------
Markie: You always thought that you were better for me because you were nominated for Emmys. Well I would have been nominated too, but I was just too hot to be taken seriously!
Harry: Well that wouldn’t be a problem now, would it?
Charles: Uh huh. Court is adjourned.
Kenneth: This is worse than the original finale! What are we going to do?
Tracy: I don’t know, Ken. This is bad. I wish this were an episode of ‘Night Court’ because then there would be some big joke right now. [Long awkward pause]
Tracy: My boy Kenneth, is going through some tough times. They’re making him wear a coat that’s different than his other coat.
Jack: [Answers phone] Lemon?
Liz: Jack! She’s in your house!
Jack: Don’t be ridiculous. The alarm is...[Turns around to find Claire standing there in lingerie]
Claire: I made you a white pizza and a pot roast. I just think you’re, so amazing. Look at me playing house! My god you must think I’m out of my mind! Do you? You just looked away when I said that. I saw you. [Throws away tray] Kiss me, I know your lips will be honest! [Rips off his tie, kisses him]
Jack: Lemon I gotta call you back.
Liz: No!
Jack: Wait, maybe Claire’s right. If we had a baby together things would calm down.
Liz: I’m deleting you from my phone! What? Password!?
Harry: Hey are you with network? How about if Heroes had a new character and his super power was like close up magic.
Liz: What? No. Oh big fan, by the way.
Kenneth: Can I say something?
Liz: Absolutely not.
Kenneth: The only crime any of us are guilty of is caring for one another: Mr. Jordan who tried to cheer me up, These wonderful actors who tried to make a young man’s dream come true. If there’s a law against friendship, then lock me up. But if there isn’t, then the show must go onward!
Tracy: Ken! You did it! You changed her mind!
Liz: No! No he didn’t! Stop group hugging! Who does that?! [Hits Judge's stick]
Jack: Isn’t this great. We’re together. We’re in line to get into the club. I have my glow stick.
Claire: Uh huh. Yeah and there’s no more Liz trying to keep us apart. No more drama. No more sneaking around, recording our intimate moments and leaving them for Liz on her voicemail.
Jack: What?!
Claire: You know what! I don’t even know what this is any more! Are we boring? Are we some sexless couple that sits in silence at a fish place on a Sunday night at 5:00? Cause if we are, I’ll kill myself!
------
Claire: Guy in the really cool cool hat has a gun!
Jack: Crazy putty! [Runs away]
Harry: I herby declare the new page uniforms at NBC illegal!
Tracy: I added that. I went upstairs and told them that if they don’t bring back the old uniforms, I refuse to play the part of Mac in Universals upcoming ‘Night Court’ movie.
Charles: What’s that now?
[Kenneth punches air and freezes]
Tracy: Are you okay?
Jack: Lemon, the real night court is not at all like that TV show. Do you remember that show?
Liz: I do.
Jack: The hookers are not funny. There are a lot more sickly homeless people and college students. Thank you for bailing me out, Claire threw my wallet down a storm drain. Lemon I'm sorry...
Liz: Look, I'm just glad your okay.
Jack: Thank you for answering your phone.
Liz: I don't know how to decline a call. [Punches Jack in arm]
Jack: Claire used to punch me in the face.
Liz: Ahh!
Jack: Lemon I'm done. I swear. Try this on. [Puts Claire's hat on his head] That's a good look for you. [Liz laughs]
>>>>>OKAY, HERE WE GO!<<<<<
TOP 5 6 MOMENTS.
six.
Jenna: Well well well, a ‘Night Court’ reunion. Funny how I wasn’t invited. Or did you forget about my three episode arc as public defender Sparky Monroe.
Harry: No, we remember, Jenna. You were the werewolf lawyer.
[Flashback]
Jenna: I could prove my client is innocent. If only it weren’t a full mooooon!
[End flashback]
Harry: You made us jump the shark. You’re the reason we didn’t have a 10th season.
Markie: I had just bought my second home when they brought that idiot werewolf lawyer in.
Jenna: Uh, that idiot werewolf paid for my hand reduction surgery ok?
------
Jenna: Kenneth, I can’t believe you’re such a ‘Night Court’ owner and didn’t know I played the werewolf lawyer.
Kenneth: I knew...
Jenna: Very well, I can take a hint. But you haven’t seen the last of Sparky Monroe!
five.
Jack: Up or down ladies?
Liz: Neither, we’re waiting for our old roommate. She’s like a human Macarena - something everyone did at parties in 1996.
Jack: Mi-Ou.
Liz: You’re right, that was harsh.
Jack: No, Mi-Ou. She owns the largest alternative energy company in Asia. So as part of our Green Initiative were doing a reality show about her quest to find a boyfriend.
four.
Liz: Jack has something he’d like to tell you.
Claire: Oh.
Jack: I do. [In agony] I’d like to suck that ring right off your toe. [Turns away] Just got to hack it.
Claire: Oh please stop. Don’t make that angry Muppet face at him.
------
Claire: ...You were trying to keep me away from Jack and you almost fooled me. But then I remembered something - you don't like to have fun. And now your plan has backfired and Jack is seeing the manipulative you. The single white female thing that you have with me.
Liz: I don’t have a single white female thing with you.
Claire: Honey, you moved into my building. You wore chokers because I wore chokers.
Jack: I’d like to choke her.
Claire: Yes. You dated that clown, Joel Suchecky.
Liz: First! I dated him first, Claire. And he wasn’t that clown, he was THE head clowning instructor.
------
Claire: That’s what I’m saying. We all want what’s best for Jack. So why don’t we just get this three way on!
Liz: No!
Jack: No! Right, I mean that's a bad idea right? [Liz tilts her head at him]
Claire: Alright. Well I tried to be the adult. And if only one gets to have him, I'm afraid it's going to be me.
three.
Liz: I was at this club last week… called Chili’s...and I met this smoking guy. He was just raw. [Frank makes a disgusted face]
Claire: Tell me everything.
Liz: I’m going to. He was wearing this shirt...and I could totally see his nips. He was very muscular.
Claire: Did you go home with him?
Liz: Yes...to his loft, where he gave me the "business".
-------
Cerie: You guys should go to Aquarium. It’s this new night club and all the women are in a glass room in the center of the dance floor. And all the guys just watch and feed them.
Claire: That sounds so hot!
Liz: Yeah, thank you Cerie, that’s very helpful.
two.
Liz: Did you see our shout out in Variety? They called us a comedy show!
Jack: Lemon I ran into your friend Claire in the elevator...she is very pretty.
Liz: Nononono, she's nuts when it comes to guys. We had a name for her back in Chicago...it's ah to rude to say out loud. [Writes on magazine]
Jack: [Reads] Crazy putty?
Liz: No.
Jack: OH!
Liz: She’s psycho. She is fatal attraction She is staunchly in favor of Coco Puffs. Do not sleep with her.
Jack: I wish you had told me that about an hour ago. [Claire comes out of bathroom]
one.
Jenna: Why did you leave? I think those Persian guys wanted us to make out together.
Liz: I’m waiting for Claire. She texted me like an hour ago and said she’s getting on the F-Train. Oh no!
I really wasn't sure about the top top moments this time, so I based it on 'laughs per moment'. :P So I welcome your suggestions! :D
FIN.
Quote transcript and screencaps by me; please do not reuse/hotlink elsewhere unless you ask for my permission, thank you!
I would also really appreciate it if you comment to let me know you enjoyed it because it took me some time (not that I didn't enjoy it!). :D
OH! And if you haven't caught up on the last two episodes (OMG YOU BETCH), here's a long, soundless recap:
3x01: Do-Over
3x02: Believe in the Stars
Kenneth: Ms. Lemon, it’s me, Kenneth Parcell, the page. You probably didn’t recognize me in this new page uniform.
Liz: I recognized you, Kenneth.
Kenneth: The old uniforms were timeless, practical, sexy. But, um, this...This is an outrage! You need to make them go back to the old uniforms.
Liz: I don’t have that kind of authority.
Kenneth: Then what do you do?!
Liz: Hey, I just got a call from security.
Jenna: That’s ridiculous! Why would I steal a file from personnel?
Liz: What? No. Claire is in the lobby.
Jenna: Claire Harper? From Chicago?
Liz: Yup. Fun, crazy Claire.
Jenna: Oh man! Do you remember the night we all danced in that open fire hydrant?
Liz: Yeah. Her roof parties?
Jenna: Karaoke in Boystown.
Liz: The all night scavenger hunts.
Jenna: Do you remember when we crashed that Polish wedding?
Liz: ...Yeah she’s exhausting.
Jenna: Oh I know! She’s gonna make us buy more of her homemade jewelry. Birds always attack me when I wear it.
[Kenneth starts to jump excitedly with the girls before breaking into tears]
OMG he's so adorable.
Jack: Welcome to New York. Lets see, we’re using credit cards, and cabs, all the galleries have moved to Chelsea, and we’re off cupcakes and back to doughnuts.
Tracy: What’s wrong, Ken? You’ve got wife eyes.
Kenneth: I’m just sad sir. I’ve worn this old jacked since 19...and now they’ve just thrown it away.
Tracy: Is there nothing sacred? Have we lost our moral center? It just makes me want to pee on someone.
Kenneth: I appreciate that sir. But rules are rules. I’m just going to have to live with it.
Tracy: I hate to see you like this Ken-Dog. It’s like an owl without a graduation cap; heartbreaking! So what can I buy you to make you happy?
------
Kenneth: Money can’t buy a sunset or a child’s smile, or a satisfying finale to the hit TV show ‘Night Court.’
Tracy: Court? At Night? I’m already laughing! Tell me more!
Claire: Oh hey Liz. Jack was just giving me direction to the...F-Train.
-------
Liz: Back in Chicago I saw her take powerful men down. It didn’t matter if it was Scotty Pippin, or the drummer for the Bodeens, or someone else’s boyfriend who ran a small but prestigious clowning academy.
Jack: Whose boyfriend? [Liz makes a face]
-------
Jack: Having known Claire for a very enjoyable twenty minutes and you for what feels like infinity, I’m going to go with Claire on this one.
Tracy: Ready for your big surprise?
Kenneth: Yes sir! Gosh, last time I was blind folded I had to play piano at that weird masquerade party.
Tracy: Ta-da!
Kenneth: [Squeels] Some of the cast of ‘Night Court’!
-------
Markie: Oh bless your heart. Do you like race cars?
Kenneth: I do!
-------
Kenneth: First I find a quarter this morning...
Charlies: Uh...I lost a quarter earlier...
Jack: To Mi-ou. May tonight’s fundraiser for your fund raising foundation be as successful as last weeks cocktail reception for your rehab center.
Claire: Jack’s just being modest. He won’t tell you, but I will. Today is Jack’s birthday! Hit it boys! [Breaks into song] Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Jackie-bear. Happy birthday to him.
-------
Jack: How did you get in here first of all? And it’s not even my birthday!
Claire: I know isn’t it funny?! What? Oh come on are you mad?
Jack: This is highly inappropriate. I’m going to have to ask you to leave!
Claire: Hey! If I kill myself, it is all your fault! [Crowd gasps] [Jack starts to fake laugh and summons orchestra to start playing]
Liz: Did she do sexy birthday or mannequin who comes to life?
Jack: Sexy birthday. Thank god!
-------
Jack: I’ve got to get out of this. What do other guys do?
Liz: Well, one guy died. Scotty Pippin requested a trade to Houston.
Jack: Houston’s too humid. What about this dying thing?
-------
Liz: Where is she now?
Jack: Chained to the radiator in our hotel room. It was her idea. She’s an amazing woman.
Tracy: My boy, Ken has written a masterpiece. And trust me, I use that word a lot!
-------
Markie: You always thought that you were better for me because you were nominated for Emmys. Well I would have been nominated too, but I was just too hot to be taken seriously!
Harry: Well that wouldn’t be a problem now, would it?
Charles: Uh huh. Court is adjourned.
Kenneth: This is worse than the original finale! What are we going to do?
Tracy: I don’t know, Ken. This is bad. I wish this were an episode of ‘Night Court’ because then there would be some big joke right now. [Long awkward pause]
Tracy: My boy Kenneth, is going through some tough times. They’re making him wear a coat that’s different than his other coat.
Jack: [Answers phone] Lemon?
Liz: Jack! She’s in your house!
Jack: Don’t be ridiculous. The alarm is...[Turns around to find Claire standing there in lingerie]
Claire: I made you a white pizza and a pot roast. I just think you’re, so amazing. Look at me playing house! My god you must think I’m out of my mind! Do you? You just looked away when I said that. I saw you. [Throws away tray] Kiss me, I know your lips will be honest! [Rips off his tie, kisses him]
Jack: Lemon I gotta call you back.
Liz: No!
Jack: Wait, maybe Claire’s right. If we had a baby together things would calm down.
Liz: I’m deleting you from my phone! What? Password!?
Harry: Hey are you with network? How about if Heroes had a new character and his super power was like close up magic.
Liz: What? No. Oh big fan, by the way.
Kenneth: Can I say something?
Liz: Absolutely not.
Kenneth: The only crime any of us are guilty of is caring for one another: Mr. Jordan who tried to cheer me up, These wonderful actors who tried to make a young man’s dream come true. If there’s a law against friendship, then lock me up. But if there isn’t, then the show must go onward!
Tracy: Ken! You did it! You changed her mind!
Liz: No! No he didn’t! Stop group hugging! Who does that?! [Hits Judge's stick]
Jack: Isn’t this great. We’re together. We’re in line to get into the club. I have my glow stick.
Claire: Uh huh. Yeah and there’s no more Liz trying to keep us apart. No more drama. No more sneaking around, recording our intimate moments and leaving them for Liz on her voicemail.
Jack: What?!
Claire: You know what! I don’t even know what this is any more! Are we boring? Are we some sexless couple that sits in silence at a fish place on a Sunday night at 5:00? Cause if we are, I’ll kill myself!
------
Claire: Guy in the really cool cool hat has a gun!
Jack: Crazy putty! [Runs away]
Harry: I herby declare the new page uniforms at NBC illegal!
Tracy: I added that. I went upstairs and told them that if they don’t bring back the old uniforms, I refuse to play the part of Mac in Universals upcoming ‘Night Court’ movie.
Charles: What’s that now?
[Kenneth punches air and freezes]
Tracy: Are you okay?
Jack: Lemon, the real night court is not at all like that TV show. Do you remember that show?
Liz: I do.
Jack: The hookers are not funny. There are a lot more sickly homeless people and college students. Thank you for bailing me out, Claire threw my wallet down a storm drain. Lemon I'm sorry...
Liz: Look, I'm just glad your okay.
Jack: Thank you for answering your phone.
Liz: I don't know how to decline a call. [Punches Jack in arm]
Jack: Claire used to punch me in the face.
Liz: Ahh!
Jack: Lemon I'm done. I swear. Try this on. [Puts Claire's hat on his head] That's a good look for you. [Liz laughs]
>>>>>OKAY, HERE WE GO!<<<<<
Jenna: Well well well, a ‘Night Court’ reunion. Funny how I wasn’t invited. Or did you forget about my three episode arc as public defender Sparky Monroe.
Harry: No, we remember, Jenna. You were the werewolf lawyer.
[Flashback]
Jenna: I could prove my client is innocent. If only it weren’t a full mooooon!
[End flashback]
Harry: You made us jump the shark. You’re the reason we didn’t have a 10th season.
Markie: I had just bought my second home when they brought that idiot werewolf lawyer in.
Jenna: Uh, that idiot werewolf paid for my hand reduction surgery ok?
------
Jenna: Kenneth, I can’t believe you’re such a ‘Night Court’ owner and didn’t know I played the werewolf lawyer.
Kenneth: I knew...
Jenna: Very well, I can take a hint. But you haven’t seen the last of Sparky Monroe!
Jack: Up or down ladies?
Liz: Neither, we’re waiting for our old roommate. She’s like a human Macarena - something everyone did at parties in 1996.
Jack: Mi-Ou.
Liz: You’re right, that was harsh.
Jack: No, Mi-Ou. She owns the largest alternative energy company in Asia. So as part of our Green Initiative were doing a reality show about her quest to find a boyfriend.
Liz: Jack has something he’d like to tell you.
Claire: Oh.
Jack: I do. [In agony] I’d like to suck that ring right off your toe. [Turns away] Just got to hack it.
Claire: Oh please stop. Don’t make that angry Muppet face at him.
------
Claire: ...You were trying to keep me away from Jack and you almost fooled me. But then I remembered something - you don't like to have fun. And now your plan has backfired and Jack is seeing the manipulative you. The single white female thing that you have with me.
Liz: I don’t have a single white female thing with you.
Claire: Honey, you moved into my building. You wore chokers because I wore chokers.
Jack: I’d like to choke her.
Claire: Yes. You dated that clown, Joel Suchecky.
Liz: First! I dated him first, Claire. And he wasn’t that clown, he was THE head clowning instructor.
------
Claire: That’s what I’m saying. We all want what’s best for Jack. So why don’t we just get this three way on!
Liz: No!
Jack: No! Right, I mean that's a bad idea right? [Liz tilts her head at him]
Claire: Alright. Well I tried to be the adult. And if only one gets to have him, I'm afraid it's going to be me.
Liz: I was at this club last week… called Chili’s...and I met this smoking guy. He was just raw. [Frank makes a disgusted face]
Claire: Tell me everything.
Liz: I’m going to. He was wearing this shirt...and I could totally see his nips. He was very muscular.
Claire: Did you go home with him?
Liz: Yes...to his loft, where he gave me the "business".
-------
Cerie: You guys should go to Aquarium. It’s this new night club and all the women are in a glass room in the center of the dance floor. And all the guys just watch and feed them.
Claire: That sounds so hot!
Liz: Yeah, thank you Cerie, that’s very helpful.
Liz: Did you see our shout out in Variety? They called us a comedy show!
Jack: Lemon I ran into your friend Claire in the elevator...she is very pretty.
Liz: Nononono, she's nuts when it comes to guys. We had a name for her back in Chicago...it's ah to rude to say out loud. [Writes on magazine]
Jack: [Reads] Crazy putty?
Liz: No.
Jack: OH!
Liz: She’s psycho. She is fatal attraction She is staunchly in favor of Coco Puffs. Do not sleep with her.
Jack: I wish you had told me that about an hour ago. [Claire comes out of bathroom]
Jenna: Why did you leave? I think those Persian guys wanted us to make out together.
Liz: I’m waiting for Claire. She texted me like an hour ago and said she’s getting on the F-Train. Oh no!
I really wasn't sure about the top top moments this time, so I based it on 'laughs per moment'. :P So I welcome your suggestions! :D
I would also really appreciate it if you comment to let me know you enjoyed it because it took me some time (not that I didn't enjoy it!). :D
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