I tried to promise myself that I wouldn't do a picspam this week because final exams are on, but seeing as I have a few days spare WHY THE HELL NOT. Oh God, this show runs my life. I swear by it! So in an effort to cut down on capping every single scene in order to shorten my time spent on this, this time I've capped the most golden moments. At first I was going to put them in order of hilarity/amazingness/died on the floor from laughingness, but there were SO many! So I picked my top five, and the rest are just awesome by themselves. Feel free to tell me if you think any of the other moments deserve the 'topness' of top moments. :P I'll shut up now so you can enjoy.



TOP MOMENTS.
(basically the whole show)




Jonathan: Mr. Donaghy is on another call right now and doesn’t have time for a separate interaction with you. So everything he says will have to work for both conversations.
Liz: Really?
Jack: Lemon.
Liz: Lemon works for your business call? I just wanted to let you know that I have to go to Chicago for jury duty, because I never changed my residence to New York.
Jack: Why not?
Liz: Because I wanted to vote in a swing state, Jack. Also I wanted to stay on the mailing list at Chicago Pizza Explosion.
Jack: Well how fast can you turn it around?
Liz: Who me? I’ll fly back in the morning. I never get put in a jury. I wear my Princess Leia costume and they dismiss me immediately.
Jack: Well that sounds good for both of us. Thank you very much sir.
Liz: Ah ha! That last part didn’t work both ways. You said “sir”!
Jack: I think it worked fine.




Tracy: Do you know who I am? Seriously please tell me who I am!




Tracy: Liz Lemon!
Jenna: Yuck.
Tracy: Nemesis.
Jenna: Liz, will you tell Tracy that I don’t even want to speak with him.
Tracy: Ok, two can play at that game. Liz, could you please tell Kenneth that Liz wants him.
Liz: What...the? Ok that’s it. I’m calling Human Resources and setting up a mediation for you.
Jenna: I told you I don’t drink that much at work!
Tracy: Mediation is a binding form of non-judicial dispute resolution. I watched “Boston Legal” nine times before I realized it wasn’t a new “Star Trek”.




Jenna: Tracy, do you know that women are still paid less than men for doing the same job?
Tracy: Do you know it’s still illegal to be black in Arizona?
Jeffrey: Do you know how hard it is to be an overweight trans gender in this country?!




Kenneth: 'Believe in the stars.' It's like that doesn't even mean anything anymore.

------

Kenneth: Was any of it real, Mr. Donaghy? Beer pong? Jazzercise? Women’s Soccer?




Liz: I’m a call you back. I’s snitting next to Borpo!




Toofer: Good grief.
Tracy: Hi strangers. Do you think I’m sexy? Giggle giggle giggle.
Frank: Tracy, I know it’s you. And yeah, I do.
Tracy: I’m meeting my girlfriends for lunch. I hope we can sit outside. Lipsitck!




Jenna: We’re trying to prove who has it hardest in America; women or black men.
Jack: I’ll tell you who has it the hardest. White men. We make the unpopular difficult decisions. We land on the moon and Normandy Beach and yet they resent us.
Kenneth: Well sir, I’m sorry to disagree, but I am also a white man.
Jack: No you are not. Socio-economically speaking you’re like an inner city Latina.




Liz: Oprah smells like rose water and warm laundry.
Cerie: Did she tell you any of her new favorite things for this year?
Liz: Calypso. Paisley. Chinese checkers. And sweater capes?
Cerie: Let’s go to the mall!
Jenna: Did she touch you? [Liz nods and puts out hand]




Just had to add this moment for pure adorableness.




Liz: Oprah!
Pam: [sarcastically] HELLO LIZ LEMOOOONNNN!

--------

Jenna: What were you on? That’s a kid.
Liz: That does explain some of the stuff she said.
[flashback]
Pam/Oprah: I get to fly first class because my Mom’s a flight attendant. I lost my head gear at 6 Flags. My boyfriend is in the 9th grade!
[end flasback]
Liz: It's not Oprah. I thought it was Oprah. It’s a spunky little tween.




Jack: Did you have a good night Kenneth?
Kenneth: Oh yes sir. Hardly any screaming from the Colonel. Actually I was thinking…we all try to be perfect but the world….maybe well… what I’m trying to say…there’s a whole channel on the cabel that just tells you what’s on the other channels!
Jack: I know Kenneth, it's okay.
Kenneth: I’m glad I’m not a white man, Mr Donaghy.
Kenneth: Is Sponge Bob Square Pants supposed to be terrifying?
Jack: You’re darn right he is.
Kenneth: [mouths] I knew it!




Pam: Yesterday, Liz and I realised that she's probably wearing the wrong bra size.
Liz: Ugh!
[flashback]
Pam/Oprah: [Liz opens top] Yep, that one's definately bigger!
[end flashback]
Pam: And that made me feel sad. Now show me your emotion drawings.




Jenna: Liz, we worked it out.
Tracy: I've been hearin'...but I haven't been listening.
Jenna: I need to stop being a frenemy, and be your real BFF. [Tracy holds back emotion]




Jack: It’s ok. It happens to the best of us. In flight medication is how I met M. Night Shyamalan until it turned out to be...[motions head to Jonathon]
Jonathan: That was the best day of my life!

--------

Pam: So, I’ll see you at my parent’s house for dinner. My best friend Gale can’t make it because she has some algebra test.
Liz: Ah Gale…




Jenna & Tracy: [singing] Lean on me. When you’re not strong. And I’ll be your friend…
Jack: We’re not doing that now. Stop that. Do you hear me?



>>>>>OKAY, HERE WE GO!<<<<<


TOP 5 MOMENTS.

five.



Jack: Tyler, I know you’re upset we didn’t pick you for the gold. I’m going to make it up to you. How would you like to host “Deal or No Deal” in the privacy of your own home?
Tyler Brody: I think I’ll hold a press conference instead. Tell the world there’s no such thing as Olympic Tetherball. Or Synchronized Running. Or Octuples Tennis. It was all a lie.
Jack: A white lie that did a lot of good for this country’s moral. Did you know that President Bush’s approval rating was almost as high as 15% following the Olympics?


four.



Liz: Why do you have a monster claw?
Tracy: They ran out of white make up cause I insisted they do my buttocks.


three.



Jack: We have enough oxygen for eight people, unfortunately there are nine of us in here now...one must die.
Kenneth: Mr Donaghy!
Jack: In the panel where the elevator phone should be I've placed a pistol. [Kenneth immediately opens panel and pulls out gun, puts it to his head and releases trigger. Gun does not fire]
Jack: [pushes Kenneths hands down] It's empty.
Kenneth: Then you're gonna have to choke me with my own belt. I will fight you. It’s human nature.
Jack: [opens elevator, walks out] What’s wrong with you?


two.



Oprah: Do you mind if I close the window shade?
Liz: I’m trying to adopt a baby. But my job is making it impossible because my work self is suffocating my life me. I’m Liz Lemon and I lost my virginity at 25. I saw the show about following fear and it inspired me to wear shorts to work. It didn’t go great. Do you know Tracy Jordan? I took a pill earlier. I didn’t get September issue of O Magazine. Do you have the number for subscriptions? [laughs] Why would you!? I eat emotionally and one time at summer camp I kissed a girl on a dare but then she drowned! And here comes some more stuff. I hate my feet and once I had a sex dream about Nate Burkis but halfway though he turned into Dr. Oz. Has that ever happened to you? [Oprah leans over Liz to get drink] Oh a hug! This is happening!
Oprah: [to flight attendant] Please stay close. [to Liz] Could you keep your hands out side your clothes?
Liz: Ok.


one.



Dot Com: Where is Liz Lemon?!
Liz: I don’t really think it’s fair for me to be in a jury because I can read thoughts.
Judge: Dismissed!


FIN.

Quote transcript and screencaps by me; please do not reuse/hotlink elsewhere unless you ask for my permission, thank you!

I would also really appreciate it if you comment to let me know you enjoyed it because it took me some time (not that I didn't enjoy it!). :D